Afton Vanek is a current second-year NSLI-Y Alumni Representative for the Great Lakes. Studying art history and international affairs, she hopes to continue pursuing foreign diplomacy and cultural exchange post-grad.
Going to South Korea over the summer through NSLI-Y was – I thought – a solution to all my problems I was facing in my senior year of high school. Fights with friends, the pressure of university looming, and a need to escape from my hometown were all reasons why I was looking forward to leaving the States post-graduation. But running from your problems doesn’t solve anything when the solution – summer in Korea – has a time limit. Having to leave a life I created for myself outside the United States with friends I had grown so close with in the past six weeks would prove to be the biggest challenge I would face stepping into adulthood.
My time in South Korea was amazing. My cohort was awesome, my host family was so welcoming and kind, and I had a strong connection to the language that only deepened when I took language classes there. But time really does fly and, before we knew it, we only had one week left in South Korea. My friends and I did everything we hadn’t before all within that last week on the program. We rode disco pang-pang, went to cat cafes, ate copious amounts of KyoChon chicken, and had late nights at the nearest noraebang. My most cherished memory of the trip was when my best friend, Xiomara, gifted me a Texas keychain as a token of our friendship and how close we had gotten. (That keychain still hangs on my bedroom wall to this day.) How could I even begin to leave behind an experience such as NSLI-Y that taught me what it means to be a language learner, a cultural explorer, and how to be a friend beyond the border of language and cultural differences? It is something I still grapple with today, but I have a few tips for you and some personal anecdotes that I hope you can learn from.
My first tip is to embrace the sadness of returning. This is something I absolutely did not do. I tried my best to ignore those feelings and continue life as “normal” post program. The best part about that strategy is it lasts about two months before it all comes crashing down. Letting yourself feel these emotions and recognizing those feelings are 100% valid feels like such a weight lifted. When I finally felt all the emotions, things started to get a little bit easier. Hopefully for you, you will start to embrace all the feelings sooner rather than during midterms as a freshman in university.
My second tip is to keep a journal and write. Write down everything you’re thinking about: your experience abroad, your experience returning, just anything that comes to mind. Keeping a journal has been one of the most helpful things I have been able to do for my mental health. At least once a day I open my journal and write about everything that happened in my day or anything that’s been on my mind lately. It really helps to put what you’ve experienced into words and gives you a visual way to see how you’re thinking.
My third tip is to stay in contact with your NSLI-Y cohort, but make sure to make friends back home too. I made the mistake of closing myself off from experiencing things with people at my university because I was still so heartbroken from leaving my cohort behind at the Detroit Airport post-program. But in the long run, doing this can be harmful to your own social wellbeing. It is okay to miss the amazing experience that is NSLI-Y, but you have to cherish that while continuing to make new memories post-program. I didn’t really get this memo until after my first year at university and, ever since I started putting myself out there and opening myself up to new experiences, life back home is pretty sweet.
My last tip is to research other experiences and opportunities that align with your goals. If you return home and want to continue to study abroad, seek out those programs that can help you achieve that. University-level programs like CLS, USFSIP, Fulbright, Boren, and so much more exist! If you believe that continuing to learn new languages and experience cultures abroad is what you’re meant to do, there are opportunities out there to help you achieve this. Reach out to your campus advisors and contacts that can help you apply for these programs, they would be happy to help support a NSLI-Y alum.
Overall, the main takeaway I want all returnees to understand is that it’s okay to feel the way you are feeling post program. It’s okay to want to go back to your host country and back to living with all the friends you made over there. But you also need to take care of yourself and have good strategies in place to make sure you can succeed post-NSLI-Y. You’re doing amazing and we are all so proud of you. Welcome to the NSLI-Y alumni association!
